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To start off, this a wonderful addition to an intriguing story. I quite like the word style to it. However, this is not an appraisal. This is a critique. Unfortunately, there is no real direction as to where this is going so far. I would let it go if it were an introductory chapter, but it is not. So far, I only have the personalities of the characters and who they vaguely are. I cannot imagine how they look because there is little to no physical description of their being. I suggest saying how they appear and various things like scars and such. Over all, I quite like the story, I would just love more direction and description.
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.


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